"L is for the way you Look at me"

Vodka Rain - 그 어떤 말로도 (There Are No Words) (feat. 장윤주 (Jang Yoon-joo))

I've been thinking a lot about the 'L word' recently. Not because it's February and the month of "love", but because I think any major change in your life makes you examine things in a new light.


I heard a commercial on the radio the other day as I was driving home, for a jewelry store. The gist of the add was that if you buy your woman a diamond necklace, your sad pathetic attempts to be romantic will be well reinterpreted in light of the fact that the diamond cost a lot. Or that it has magical properties to convey more love than, say, a pearl. Or breakfast in bed. Or whatever. 

Honestly, that really bothers me. Honestly, I think buying your girlfriend, or wife, flowers and chocolates and diamonds on Valentine's Day is something of a copout. I'm not saying that there aren't those women who love those things, but if you put no more thought into picking up some flowers than, "Oh, it's Valentine's Day -- guess I better get some flowers and chocolates" I think that you've completely missed the point. It becomes less an expression of love than it is an expression of social conformity. Take me for example. I have nothing against flowers, per se, but I don't like chocolate. If someone gave me chocolate, for any occasion, one of two things is true: 1) They've probably only known me for about a week, or 2) They haven't paid attention very well, or just don't remember. If I got chocolate from an admirer, I'd actually be pretty disappointed. As in all things, the intention and spirit in which you do things is what's important. 












Over the last few years I've come to realize more and more that love is a language -- and sometimes we're not all speaking the same one. What says "I love you" to one person isn't really anything special to another person, or it could even have an entirely different message all together. There are so many things that go into expressions of love, verbal and non-verbal, mental, emotional. Any one of those things could be misinterpreted. It's why we have dramas, and drama in our own lives. Love takes a lot of faith, I think. The more you love someone, the more they have the power to hurt you, even inadvertently. Some people aren't willing to take that risk. Others are much too eager.

Of course, love isn't limited to just the romantic kind. Our lives would be incomplete and rather emotionally monochrome without the love of family and friends. But I think the same principles apply: mutual respect, sincerity, trust, communication, and loyalty, to name a few. And constant nourishing and cultivating. Relationships are a lot like houseplants: leave them untended too long and they wither and die.