An Update for Katy

‎"For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee." 
- Isaiah 41:13

"Fear thou not; for I am with thee"*

*Isaiah 41:10

I need to get a handle on my life. This I-don't-know-what-the-heck-is-going-on-with-my-life deal is stressing me out to the point of mini panic attacks when I think about it. Which, obviously, does not help me deal with things at all, since I tend to compulsively avoid things that cause me stress. Which, as a friend once pointed out to me, only makes the stress more stressful, because when you finally get back to what was stressing you you now have less time to deal with it. But the older I get, the more my Type A need to have control over things is frustrated by the increasing complexity of the multitude of variables that makes up my life.

It's okay, though. I can take a step back, take a deep breath, and explore my options. I'm not completely alone in this; not only are there lots of people at the school and in church who are trained to help with these kinds of things, the Lord will help me - if I ask for it and I'm willing to work to help myself. I just need to keep that in mind.

Goals, Not Resolutions

It might seem like these are late, but today is actually the Lunar New Year (새해 복 많이 받으세요, 여러분!). I've decided against resolutions because, really, who actually keeps them for a whole year? Instead I've made some goals, which I have lots of practice doing thanks to the mission. I've tried to make all of my goals fit together, so that by achieving the immediate goals, I'll be working towards my short-term goals, and that by working towards those, I'll be working towards my mid-term and long-term goals, as well.


Long-Term Goals: Lifetime

* Create and nurture an eternal family.
* Serve a mission (or two, or three) with my husband.
* Be worthy to attend the temple and always have a current temple recommend.
* Serve God in whatever capacity by serving His children.
* Become better each day and strive to apply the Atonement in my life; to be not only justified, but sanctified.


Mid-Term Goals: 5-10 Years

--> Attend the temple regularly and often.
--> Find an eternal companion and start an eternal family.
--> Complete a Master's degree and/or start a career.
--> Serve the people of Korea; foster understanding and spread the Gospel among the Korean people.
--> Complete a written family history of my great-grandparents, my grandparents, my parents, and my siblings and myself.


Short-Term Goals: In the next year, 2012

+ Graduate with honors from USU.
+ Attend the temple once a week, or as often as possible.
+ Build a healthy body, mind, and spirit.
+ Improve the talents I have, and discover new ones.
+ Nurture old relationships, and cultivate new ones.
+ Seek to know who I am and what the Lord would have me do.


Immediate Goals: Now - 4 months

> Schedule a regular time to attend the temple.
> Daily, scheduled scripture study, prayer, and exercise.
> Try one new recipe a week; learn to play one new hymn on the piano each month.
> 1/2 hour a day reading or writing in Korean.
> Call a different friend/family member every day.
> Talk to and engage in conversation with one new person/slight acquaintance every day.
> Pray daily for the guidance of the Spirit -- and then follow whatever promptings may come.









[Source]: Photo can be found here at the Penn Asian Review.

Blast from the Past

Today I decided to go looking for the letters (well, emails) I wrote home to my family while I was a missionary in South Korea. This was prompted by reading my cousin's letter home to his family; he's currently serving a mission in Indonesia right now. Anyway, it's been just a little surreal, reading all the old emails. They brought up some events I'd kind of forgotten and reminded me just how young and sincere I was at the time. I don't think I'm less sincere now, but I'm definitely older and more jaded. And when I look back at my mission, I tend to dwell on how I perceived myself as failing at everything. My letters are a little more upbeat and full of faith, if only for appearance's sake, and they help me remember that I really did feel that way. Anyway, I'll just post one, a letter dated 5 March 2008. At the time, I was still in my first area, with my first companion, and just barely starting to get the hang of things. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say, I was just barely starting to get the hang of the hang of things.

Subject:With Love from Korea!

DearFamily and Friends,

Helloonce again from Korea! Sometimes it hits me all over again that I’mliving halfway around the world from where I was born, and then I getthese little chill bumps all over. Despite being here for almost 12weeks now, it feels just as unreal as the day I landed. Being amissionary, even, is still fairly unbelievable, and it’s been fivemonths since I went into the Missionary Training Center. Missionariesare those other people who wear suits and skirts and come eat dinnerat my house every month, not me. And that’s another thing – canyou believe that I’ve worn a skirt EVERY DAY for the last fivemonths and haven’t killed anyone yet? I would say that isdefinitely an example of the hand of the Lord in my life. ;)

Theend of another transfer (that’s a six-week period, at the end ofwhich some of the missionaries get moved around, which is why it’scalled a “transfer”) is fast approaching – the 15th is thenight we’ll find out if one of us is leaving Anyang. If one of usgoes, it will be me, since this upcoming transfer is Sister Pak’slast and no one gets transferred on their last transfer. I can’tbelieve I’ve been here this long! I feel just as stupid as the dayI stepped off the plane. It’s amazing to me that they send us outto the mission field with the most rudimentary of language basics anddump us right in the middle of things. And yet, despite that, thework of the Lord still goes forth in power. The Lord truly isaccomplishing His work through the small and simple things of theworld (see Alma 37:6-7); what could be less significant than a bunchof 19-21 year olds teaching the gospel in a language they barelyspeak? If it wasn’t His work it would be doomed to failure; thatThe Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints continues to grow andflourish despite the bumbling efforts of the missionaries is atestimony to me of its truthfulness. I’m so glad to have thisopportunity, as painful and humbling as it is, to be a very small andinsignificant part of His work. It truly is a blessing to me, and Ihope, to my family, both present and future.

Mycompanion, Sister Pak, is beginning to wonder if my hair is gettingdarker. She says I’m becoming more Korean by the day; the other dayI mused out loud that kimbop sounded really good. A month and a halfago, I wouldn’t even touch the stuff. The amount of spicy food Ieat regularly now would have sent me to the kitchen sink to gulp downgallons of water in an effort to soothe my mouth two months ago.Korean fashion is beginning to seem very normal – though I will saythat when I see men with green and red plaid shirts with pink andgreen striped ties, I still get a little shock. Sparkly pink ties,sparkly metallic tights, and blouses that look like they came fromVictorian England no longer phase me, however. This morning Icontemplated having rice for breakfast, though kimchi is still alittle much at 730 am. And I’m still American enough that BaskinRobbins is akin to Nirvana. That’s one thing I really, really missabout the States – cheese. Cheese and skim milk. You can’t findthem anywhere, at least not in small enough quantities for individualconsumption. They do have the fake processed plastic cheese, but Ihate that – it’s not real cheese! Real cheddar, real Colby jack,is impossible to find outside restaurants that serve it as part ofyour meal. Consequently, pizza has begun to take on new and moreglorious meaning to me. :) And I still don’t like squid. I thinkthat I will always hate it. [Note: I still do, four years later.]

Ifany of you have something you would like to know about particularly,please email me and let me know. It’s hard to think of things towrite about when I can’t exactly remember what’s common inAmerica and what’s distinctly Korean, and some things have becomeso much a part of my life that I don’t think they’re strangeanymore. So if you want to know something – email me! Even justyour question is fine, if you don’t have time for anything else. Itwould really help me out, and would probably be nicer for you than tohave to read all my random ramblings.

Ihope you’re all well and healthy! I love and miss you. :)

Love,AnnMarie and/or Sister Saunders