Off On A New Adventure

Old Main - Picture here

So.

Yeah.

Yesterday ended my first week of classes at USU. My first impressions went something like this: Wow, this campus is so big. Look at all that snow and they're still having classes! There are so many people! A syllabus? The classes are so big and hardly anyone ever talks...Man, I have a ton of reading to do. Blackboard? What? It's not that thing in the front of the room? Oh, you mean we get our homework online? Wow, we're actually talking about RECENT HISTORY! There are right answers to all the questions! I can bring my computer to class? People are calling me by my first name again. Weird. Taking notes...what? All the PowerPoints are on Blackboard so don't bother? Another six readings? ~sigh~


You wouldn't think there'd be much culture shock, coming back to Utah. I mean, I was born here in this very town. I've driven past the hospital I was born in at least ten times since I've been here. I lived here for most of the first half of my life. And yet...there is culture shock. When I walked into church last Sunday, into a room literally bursting with young, single LDS girls, I was...shocked? Not really shocked, I guess. Maybe overwhelmed. But it wasn't really that, either. It was just so different from what I've been used to for my whole adult life (I know, like it's been so long) that I was a little taken aback and didn't know what to think. And always before, I've either been with someone else, or been unique enough to stand out so people would go out of their way to find out who I was. This time, I'm pretty much just another girl in a room full of more than a hundred. Strange.

I think some of the reason I felt discomfited was that suddenly, most of the things that have defined me and made me unique over the last ten years were no longer unique or singular. Plenty of other people had been on missions, speak different languages, have five or more siblings, don't drink, smoke, or mess around, and go to church every Sunday. I'm not saying I lack other distinguishing qualities, just that those were the ones that stood out the most in people's minds. It's taking some getting used to, that's for sure. And the sheer number of people is just...overwhelming. I've never been good at making friends or good first impressions, and I literally know no one, not in my classes or my ward, or my extracurricular activities. How do I even go about making friends when I don't live on campus or have an in into the social scene? Thankfully, by the end of the first week, I know probably five people's names and have had at least a conversation with them. But the prospect of integrating myself into this system is sometimes enough to make me contemplate moving back home and becoming a hermit.

Seeing my grandparents again was a shock, too. I hadn't realized just how much their health -- both mental and physical -- had deteriorated in the few years since I had seen them last, my grandfather especially. I guess I had this idea that they were the grandparents I'd known ten or so years ago when we left for Tennessee, but of course that's absurd. I just didn't expect things to be this bad. I don't regret living here and helping to take care of them, but it's definitely a challenge. I have a feeling I'm going to learn a lot from this experience, even if all I learn is patience.