"For when I am weak, then am I strong"

2 Corinthians 12:10

I would have to say that my mood recently would be more qualified classified as "brooding" (and not in a poetic sense) than anything else. I have a bad tendency to think too much about certain things, say for instance, my inadequacies or my failings. Or both. I'm an equal-opportunity brooder. But as the term "brood" implies, this habit of mine is neither constructive or productive. I may wallow in my weaknesses, but I never seem to get around to doing anything about them. I'm impatient, intolerant, sarcastic, and skeptical on occasion. I talk too much, too strongly. I hurt people's feelings, sometimes without even trying. I'm lazy and unmotivated. My priorities are messed up. You notice all these are still in the present tense.

Weaknesses aren't comfortable things. I don't think the Lord intended them to be. The fact is that weaknesses, shortcomings, and failings -- all those things that drive ourselves and others crazy -- as uncomfortable as they are, are an integral part of the human experiences. A vital part of the human experience. As in, we couldn't be human without them. We couldn't serve our purpose in life without them. We couldn't become more than we are without them. If we let them, they will teach us more than any number of strengths ever could. And not only us, but others as well. We will reach and touch people through our weaknesses that we never could through our strengths, whether those weaknesses be physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual. They have a purpose.

I learned this lesson while serving on the mission, but I think over the last year and half since I've been home I've forgotten it. I've let my weaknesses take over me, instead of learning from them -- and the struggles to overcome them -- to become a better, stronger person. We will always have weaknesses, it's true; they will always serve a valuable purpose, it's true; but we cannot allow them to consume and rule us. The way we learn from weakness is by humbling ourselves and turning to God for helping in overcoming them, not by succumbing to them.