눈이 왔어

I grew up in places where it snowed. A lot. First Logan, in the Wasatch Mountains, then in Bozeman, where we played outside on the playground before school until the temperature dropped to zero degrees (Fahrenheit, not Celsius). Then when I was in middle school we moved to Tennessee, and I haven't seen much of the snow since. I've missed it. So many of my childhood memories of winter involve bulky snowsuits, lost mittens, our boots making wet tracks on the floor, the cold wind stinging our cheeks, sledding, snowmen, snowballs, snowangels...anything you could possibly make out of snow. I love the hush that covers the earth when the snow comes, and the soft, pale grey of the sky when it falls. I love the crunch of it under my feet, the white frosting that covers everything and makes the winter world into a winter wonderland.

Rick and me on our way to get food after an exciting drive home from the temple

So you can imagine my unbridled joy when I came out of the temple this morning to find it snowing heavily and two inches already on the ground! Could anything be better than to be surround by lovely, sparkling, brilliant snow after coming out of the temple? The only thing that dimmed my enthusiasm for the snow was the two-hour drive home - the two-hour drive that normally takes only an hour. And the fact that because Rick's brakes are not so good after he had a little accident the last time he drove in snow, we went between 15 and 30 mph all the way home, sometimes slowing to barely 5 mph. And we fishtailed some, failed to get the chains on, and didn't get to have Korean food for lunch. I am a slight bit miffed about that. But still, we made it home in one piece, I didn't have to go to work because of the snow, and campus looks just like a snow globe! It's definitely picturesque. Too bad a bunch of meanies have already ruined the snow so I can't take a picture.

Challenges

Often, I think the most difficult challenges in life are the smallest ones. Or rather, the deceptively small ones. You know what I mean. When something big and flashy happens in your life, it's easy to see what needs to be overcome and many people will be there to help you through the process. But those kinds of challenges (hopefully) don't happen to us very often, whereas we are beset every day by "little things" like bad habits, that one annoying person in your class, procrastination, etc.

I think the Lord provides us with these challenges to test our devotion to Him and our faith. The true measure of our desire to follow Him is in our willingness to do the small, everyday things, well, every day for the rest of our lives. Anything is easy for short periods of time; consistency is the real challenge in life.




I would have to say that I'm failing at this right now.

Things I Like About Myself and Don't Wish to Change

As I am sure you are all quite aware, this time of year is one where people tend to examine themselves, at least on a surface level, decide there are a few flaws in their characters, and make something called a "new year's resolution". Most abandon them as quickly as they make them, and with just about as much thought.

I thought I'd turn the system on its ear and reflect on things I like about myself, instead. Heaven knows I probably don't do it enough. So here you are: a (probably incomplete) list of things I like about myself.

A List of (a Previously Unspecified Number of) 

Things AnnMarie Likes About Herself

I like my eyes. I like that they're green, especially. Not too many people have green eyes, plus green happens to be my color of choice.

I like that I am intelligent. I don't wish to sound overly conceited, or even the least bit conceited, but my academic career bears out my self-assessment. (Nevertheless, I find it hilarious that it took me four tries to spell "assessment" correctly when I typed that. Never let it be said that I am incapable of laughing at myself. Or that I think myself genius material.)

I like that I am musical. I like that I have a pleasant singing voice and that I am mildly proficient at playing various musical instruments.

I like that I love to read. It sets me apart from your run-of-the-mill twentysomething and enriches my life.

I like that I have a crazy obsession with Korean dramas and cheesy Korean pop music. It took me a long time to learn to speak Korean, darn it, and I am proud that I can speak it even a little bit.

I like that I am a loyal friend. While I don't claim to be a perfect one, I always strive to be there for my friends. I am a good listener, and I have never betrayed a confidence placed in me.

I like that my greatest ambition in life is to be a wonderful wife to my husband and mother to my children. These are roles that don't get a lot of credit in the 'real world', but frankly I don't care.

I like that I love my family. I like that we have eight kids, and I like that my parents love each and every one of us.

I like that I enjoy learning. They say you never grow old if you continue to learn.

I like that I can do well at my job, even if it's something I've never done before and wouldn't have chosen to do if I'd had another option.

I like that I have strong, healthy nails.

I like that I still sleep with my baby blanket and my stuffed Pooh Bear, and I like that I can admit it without shame.

I like that I make a mean batch of chocolate chip cookies. They really are amazing. Plus, cookie dough is the best.

I like that I don't like chocolate. But I do like boys.

On the third day of Christmas...

Did you know, the twelve days of Christmas actually START on Christmas? They end on 6 January, or Epiphany, the day that tradition says the Wise Men came to see Jesus. Of course, it didn't actually happen like that...but then again, Jesus wasn't born on 25 December, either.

It's been so wonderful this last week to be home! I've missed it. And Christmas was even better! Not because of the presents, though I was excited to get a really awesome mixing bowl, but because for the first time in over two years my whole family was under the same roof at the same time. Well, the whole family plus Doug. :)

The Semester Ends: The Saga Begins

Well, the title is as good as any, I guess. It worked for Twilight, it can work for me. *cheeky grin*

Here I am, at almost three in the morning, updating my blog because my roommate is still packing and I'm procrastinating going to bed because I know 625 is going to come awfully early. I know, it doesn't make any sense, but there you have it. I think I shall patent it and call it "AnnMarie Logic", sell it and get rich. Sounds great, huh?

I'm glad this semester has come to an end. It's been a hard one for me, in various ways. I've never been a particularly self-motivated person, but this semester has seen me reach new heights of sinking to the depths of procrastination and self-gratification. I need balance. I need to get used to my life the way it is now. It's crazy: I feel like I went on a mission as a teenager with not too many cares and came back to a world where everyone expects me to act like an adult. Is that what I am? I don't feel like one. I still want my mommy to take care of everything for me. Maybe part of it is being a sophomore when most of my high school classmates are graduated or graduating.

I had my don rag today. It went pretty well, actually. Better than my freshman ones, I think. I think I'm a better student in class this time around, though I didn't really try at all this semester. Think how much better I could do if I really tried! My Greek tutor was very impressed by how quickly I got up to speed in that class. I can't take much credit for that, honestly; it's mostly due to a website called Perseus and A. T. Murray's translation of The Odyssey. Still, I'm not a total moron. But he was right to call me out for not being prepared enough sometimes, because it's definitely true that my translations weren't my first priority. Well, not my translations of Greek, anyway. I won't comment on the amount of time I spent doing "language study" this semester. It's probably better left unsaid.

I'm glad to be going home. But somehow, it's just won't be the same, I know.




*sigh*

Things I Love About Winter

SNOW!

seeing your breath in the air

Christmas trees and the smell of pine leaves slowly permeating the house

making snow angels

the crisp, fresh scent of the air

bundling up in sweaters and coats and gloves and hats and earmuffs and lots of socks

(this one is infinitely more fun if you are NOT a missionary who has to constantly wear all of these - and more! - because you are outside all day and well into the evening)

Christmas!!!

winter break and going home and NO SCHOOL!

snuggling down in my bed in the morning when I wake up a little bit early

white Christmas lights

hot chocolate

when in Korea, getting to turn on the floor and having toasty feet all the time

A few family memories

Families are really awesome things. I'm so excited to get to see mine in just 17 days!

My youngest brother, Nathan, about three years old

All three of the Saunders' kids were given the number 9 that season!

My youngest sister, Marianne, and me as the royalty we are :)

My oldest younger sister, Heidi, cuddled up with her "Sunny Bean Butt" - I'm pretty sure she still sleeps with him even now that she's married

My family, the Sunday before my brother Stephen and I reported to the MTC

어떨까?

I think one reason I like stories so much is because you assume that after they end, everyone lives "happily ever after". Well, in the stories I read, anyway. Everything comes to a head, the good guy and the bad guy (or girls) fight, evil is defeated, the girl gets the guy, and they all go home and live a quiet life raising their kids and/or ruling their kingdom.

Alas, life is not like that.

시간이 빨리 지나네

It's already almost the end of November? But wasn't it just the end of October? And I could have sworn August wasn't that long ago...not to mention April.

What have I got to show for this time I've spent?

This is what I miss. He's so big now... :'(

Home

I heard Michael Buble's song "Home" today while I was working at the mall, and it reminded me how much I miss mine. Lately I've been, not homesick, really, but I wouldn't be adverse to seeing my family. I miss them. I miss them now more than I did when I first moved away from home, and since then I've lived away from them for the better part of three years. There's so much you miss when your 'second family' is so much younger than you, and it makes me sad to think about it.

I guess it really is true, what Dorothy said,

"THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME, THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME!"

In Defense of the Sabbath

"And he said unto them, The sabbath was made for man, and not man for the sabbath."

-- Mark 2:27

The Law of the Sabbath is not one of those commandments I had much respect for as a child. Sunday was my least favorite day of the week: we had to be reverent, wear nice clothes and keep them clean, we couldn't play outside, and then there was the dreaded Quiet Time -- a mandatory two-hour span that we had to spend playing quietly in our rooms while my parents took a nap in theirs. At the time I thought they were the worst two hours of my week, and I thought my parents were awful for being so unfeeling as to impose them on me. Now I wish I could get my family to go back to Quiet Time.

I heard someone say something to this effect in a sacrament meeting one time: "Our great-grandparents called it the Holy Sabbath; our grandparents just the Sabbath. Our parents called it Sunday, and now we simply call it the weekend." We are becoming increasingly more casual about our Sabbath observance, and the effects are beginning to show. I love what Preach My Gospel says about keeping the Sabbath day holy, and the consequences of not doing so:

Our Sabbath-day behavior is a reflection of our commitment to honor and worship God. By keeping the Sabbath day holy, we show God our willingness to keep our covenants. ... When a community or nation grows careless in its Sabbath activities, its religious life decays and all aspects of life are negatively affected. The blessings associated with keeping the Sabbath day holy are lost. ... Latter-day Saints should set this holy day apart from activities of the world by entering into a spirit of worship, thanksgiving, service, and family-centered activities appropriate to the Sabbath. As Church members endeavor to make their Sabbath activities compatible with the intent and Spirit of the Lord, their lives will be filled with joy and peace.

I have definitely seen the truth of these statements in my own life. When I treat the Sabbath day as a sacred day of rest and dedicate it to renewing my covenants with my Heavenly Father and "recharging" my spiritual batteries, if you will, by setting aside "activities of the world" -- homework, my beloved Korean dramas, gossip, etc -- my week and my mood are so much better. I am much better equipped to handle the stress of juggling a job, college, and all the attendant difficulties. The Sabbath is a commandment from God, not because He likes to sit up in heaven and watch us chafe over all the things we "can't do", but because He knows that we need a break from the world and He loves us enough to bless us with one. I know that keeping the Sabbath day holy will bring tremendous blessings to your lives, and hope that in the coming weeks, you will search your heart and your life for ways you can do more to obtain them.

There Are Worse Ways to Put Yourself Through College

...but my feet sure do hurt.

Yesterday marked my week anniversary of starting my new job at a shoe store in the mall. This is my first time working retail, and let me tell you, it is a different experience.

I was really lucky to get this job, seeing as how I have no experience in retail at all. I am even luckier because my manager is a really great guy who genuinely cares about what he's doing, loves his job, and is concerned about his employees. Plus he has really cute kids and his wife is adorable. They're from Thailand, actually, though he's Chinese and they've all been in the States for awhile now. I'm also lucky because I actually enjoy doing what I do -- helping people find shoes that fit their needs -- most of the time. It's just when I've been there for five hours, listening to the same CD of Brittany Spears, Shakira,*Nsync, and the Backstreet Boys (which is better than the alternatives, believe me) for the fifth time, standing up the whole time, and no one's come in the store in at least an hour that I start wishing I had a little more interesting job. Or when I hobble home on aching feet and finally collapse on my bed and wonder if $8.50/hour can possibly be worth it.

But, as I said, there are worse ways to put yourself through college. I try not to think about the job I had freshman year, before I left for the mission -- student circulation aide at the Naval Academy's library. It was easy, it was 15 hours a week, and it paid $3.50/hour more. Not to mention it was within walking distance and I didn't have to stress out over the unreliability of the public transportation. And I never had Brittany Spears stuck in my head.

Then again, maybe the Lord doesn't want me to take the easy road. I'm certainly learning things I wouldn't have learned at the library, and I can't help but think of Calvin's dad (in the comic strip Calvin & Hobbs) saying, a little superciliously, "It builds character." In this case I think it is. And who knows, maybe three years down the road I'll look back and see clearly that this was better for me and served some greater purpose in helping me develop into who I need to be.

But my feet really do hurt.

Some Life Goals

1. Live in such a way that I can be with my family eternally

2. Run at least one marathon

3. Speak Korean fluently

4. Be a good wife to my husband and mother to my children

5. Do something big - not sure what yet, but something big

6. Climb a mountain

7. Travel to every country in the world

8. Live abroad with my family

9. Make the world a better place for families

10. Develop some artistic talents - photography or pottery, preferably

11. Fall madly, passionately in love and stay that way

12. Be a genuinely good person

13. BE HAPPY! :)

Uncertainty

It all works out in the end.

Right?