Of Bug Bites and Boys

It's been a little bit of time since I updated, so I thought I'd take a second to do that tonight. These last few weeks at work have been hectic -- hectic the way only 40-odd kids can be. I love my job, but there's no denying that it takes a lot of patience and engery. Good mom training.

In the last two weeks, I've been sunburned three times, twice pretty badly; gone swimming three times (which is three times more than I have in the last two years); broken a pair of sunglasses without touching them or otherwise coming into contact with them in any way (still trying to figure that one out); been so sore that I couldn't get up off the floor; gone two days and 100 miles without showering and air conditioning; and received 30+ mosquito bites. Those last two were accomplished this last weekend, when my sister and I went on a little camping trip with some of the LDS singles in our region.

We left for Land Between the Lakes Friday after work, having thrown together an overnight back at the last minute and slinging a tent and some sleeping bags into the back of our (air conditioning-less) car. We drove up there, windows down, feet on the dash (mine, not Heidi's, since she was driving) and arms hanging out the windows, belting out the songs on the radio. It was a lot of fun, and after stopping for directions only once and consulting the map while sitting in the middle of the road only twice, managed to arrive and set up camp. Unfortunately for us, as we later figured out, we selected a less-than-stellarly-brilliant camping spot. One, it was right in the middle of a high-traffic area; two, it was right under a street light (no idea why that was there); three, not only was the light emitting light and thereby making it light, it was attracting lots of noisy, annoying bugs; four, there was no breeze whatsoever. I slept horribly, when I slept at all.

The next morning, we didn't get to sleep in and were awoken by the sounds of breakfast being made (I forgot to mention, we also cleverly placed ourselves near the main campfire and the center of all-hours socialization), gave it up as a bad job, and just got up. We ate, changed into our swimsuits, broke camp, and headed down to the lake.

...To be continued later, I just found out that my sister got locked in a bathroom at work for five hours...

You know...

Life is a highly complicated thing.

It's a good thing we don't have to go through it alone, and nor are we left to make our way without guidance.

Three Days Out

*AnnMarie collapses onto the floor in a heap* Today was my third day at my new job, and let me tell you, it's wearing me out! You'd think that with all of us helping out it wouldn't be that bad, but despite having six 20-somethings on staff, as well as three older adults, those forty kids run us ragged every day. We only have them for four hours (10:30 to 2:30)...but they are four very long hours indeed.

Despite being exhausted, I do love my job. They're really great kids who have less-than-ideal situations, and despite a certain amount of attitude and lip, they're very loving and eager to do well for us. We spend our days doing various planned activities, like martial arts with a local instructor, visits to the library, and swimming at the pool. We play outside on the playground, eat lunch, and play board games and color. Today, we had a visit from a dentist, and tomorrow the First Baptist Church will take some of our kids fishing. It's a great job, and I'm really lucky to have it. I very much dislike working at jobs where I don't feel I'm making a difference, and working with these kids I can feel that I am. Plus, I love working with the other staff members, especially Mr. Robert. He's the director of the program, and in actuality, he could be doing five hundred other, more "profitable" things as a career. But he loves these kids so much, and it shines through everything he does, and it's reflected in every child's eyes. The kids can't get enough of Mr. Robert; they always want to be around him, and they're constantly hugging him and tugging on his hands. It's the most adorable sight. :)

This experience is helping me in ways I'm beginning to see even now. Despite my (quite vast) experience with kids (for my age, at least), I've never interacted with kids quite like these. A lot of these kids have authority problems, along with all the other problems you'd expect kids growing up in the projects to have. As a result, we spend a lot of time calling kids out for their attitudes and reactions toward our authority. You'd expect that, but I was surprised and mildly upset by how severe and angry our reactions to their reactions were. I'm not saying I'm perfect by any measure, but unless I was very upset and at the end of my chain, I wouldn't react that way to a similar outburst by one of my siblings or a child I babysat. As I thought about that in the shower this morning, I decided that I wasn't going to let myself be molded to the situation; rather, I would try to mold the situation to be more Christlike. I don't want you to think that the other staff members are being unusually mean or rough, but I didn't think that Christ would necessarily approach the situation in that manner. So I gave it a try today. I failed quite a lot, but I do think I succeeded as well. As I keep working at it, I hope it will help me practice patience when my temper is short, as well as helping me to work on my communication skills and other skills that will be of value when I ultimately become a mother to my own children. All in all, I'm very grateful to my Heavenly Father for giving me this opportunity to both help these great kids and learn about myself.

It Makes a Pretty Picture

I just thought I'd let you know that I really love looking at the picture that's the header for my blog. Specifically, it's a picture of the Han River in Seoul, Korea, taken through a slightly dirty subway car window as the train raced over one of the many bridges spanning the river. This is a perfect example of the "take a thousand pictures and maybe one of them will turn out to be worth looking at" theory of photography; I usually take very unremarkable pictures, but for some reason, this one turned out very well. I don't really know what it is about it -- the lighting, the composition, the subject -- that so fascinates me, but I just love looking at it, and I get more proud of it every time I do.

I'm sure you all wanted to know that, and I can tell you that that feeling you're feeling right now? It's a feeling of inner peace that only comes when a hole in your innermost soul is filled -- a hole that you didn't even know was there. Enjoy your feelings of fulfillment. ;)

First Day on the Job

I wish I had a picture I could post along with this entry, but alas, there is none. I shall have to try to paint you a picture in words instead, and hope that suffices.

Today was my first day of work at the summer youth program the housing authority does for the kids who live in the projects. I wasn't sure what to expect, since we're actually hired through a government grant and not through the housing authority and they didn't really know any details, but I showed up at their main office this morning bright and early at eight a.m. like I was told. It turns out that the programs doesn't even begin until ten-thirty, so we sat around for awhile waiting for all of the staff to get there, then filled out paperwork for a bit, and then finally headed over to the building that houses the program.

The director of the program (and all youth activities) is a Mr. Robert Nunley, a dignified older black gentleman who nonetheless still wears khaki shorts and tennis shoes and acts as the umpire for the kids' baseball games. As I said, he is older, but hasn't any hint of the middle-age spread that seems to accompany advancing years. The liberal patches of white in his close-cropped beard give away his age, however; it doesn't tarnish his image one bit, though. Rather, it enhances it. He has a no-nonsense attitude that goes along with is appearance, but there's a hint of a sparkle in his eyes that denote a well-developed sense of humor and fun. The latter is completely necessary when working successfully with children.

The kids themselves come in all kinds of shapes and sizes: big and round, little and thin, thin and tall; little and round, white, black, Hispanic. Some have accents so thick it's hard to understand them. Some have cornrows, and some little girls have braids that stick out all over their heads, with groups of beads swinging at the ends. Some don't have any hair at all. All are anxious to show you their drawing or the trick they can do on the trapeze bars, and will tug on your clothes or hands or whatever else is convenient to them until they have your attention and can display said drawing or amazing feat.

The morning was spent out on the playground playing on the jungle gym or at four square (a very popular, and from the comments, very controversial sport with the kids) until the rain drove us inside to do introductions and an impromptu spelling bee. (The last little kid -- a tiny, adorable little black boy with a high, piping voice and the cutest little face ever -- got out with the word "water;" pretty good, considering he's just finished kindergarten.) After lunch (spaghetti, cheese toast, corn, and a lettuce salad), we played on the playground some more until it was time to load up in the vans and head downtown for some martial arts. That was most entertaining to watch...until we got conscripted to be the punching bags for the kids to practice their jabs, crosses, left hooks, and uppercuts. Even that was alright until we had to stand in front of all the kids and do it with them; keep in mind, none of the three of us have ever done anything of that sort before. But we survived, and it was fun. I just need to make a note to myself not to wear jeans again on Mondays. Mondays are martial arts day.

An Obsession for Everyone

WHAT:꽃보다 남자

WHERE: 

http://www.viki.com/channels/50-boys-over-flowers

WHY: Because it’s the coolest show that’s no longer on TV. In Korean. 

(with English subtitles, though)

You won't regret watching it.

Trust me.

Sunday afternoons

Sunday afternoons are my favorite time of the week. Especially Sunday afternoons like today, when the weather is gorgeous and the birds are singing. Usually I spend them lounging around the house, reading, sleeping, and talking with my family. We don't work on Sundays, and long ago I made the decision that I would never do my homework on Sundays. And while that isn't really much of an issue at this point, when I was in the thick of school, Sunday afternoons were the times that kept me sane.

I'm so grateful to the Lord for instituting a day of rest. As imperfect, fallible humans, we need that time to rest, relax, and recharge spiritually. I fear that this growing trend towards working overtime on weekends will damage our societies in irreparable ways; we need that time that's been given to us in the wisdom of the Almighty, and if we choose to ignore what He has decreed is best for us, what will be the consequences?

How Newton's First Law of Motion Relates to Life: A Highly Scientific Discussion of Why I Am Lazy

INERTIA

Yep, that's it, our handy-dandy "An object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force." Learned it in sixth grade science, from Mr. Passey (probably the greatest middle school science teacher ever).

Now, I would say that Newton's law rules most people's lives, in more than just the physical sense. Of course we all have to deal with the physics of being vaulted over the handlebars of our bikes when the front wheel hits a rock and suddenly jerks to a stop; and I'm sure we're all very aware of the unfortunate fact of life that everyone hates getting up in the morning. "An object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion" and all that.

Fortunately for us, life is full of unbalanced forces that keep us from just sleeping all the time. Congress, the police, alarm clocks -- or biological clocks, for that matter -- mothers, the IRS, stop signs, the list is infinite. Most people also provide their own, internal "unbalanced force" by the simple application of will power, desire, ambition, revenge-seeking, etc., etc., ad infinitum.

I, on the other hand (and this is where the "highly scientific" bit comes in), am lacking a crucial connecting mechanism somewhere between my internal "unbalanced force" and the part of my brain that causes me to actually do something about it. For example, imagine I have this burning desire: "I would really like to wear a size 2." What would happen in the brain of someone whose converter-thingy was working right would be the following: "I will get up at 6 am and go to the gym every day to work out for two hours," followed by the actual execution of said resolution. Apparently, my problem in life is a snafu somewhere between the conception of the action that carries out the initial unbalanced force and the actual action itself.

Well. Now that I've found that out, I feel much better! Now that I know what the problem is (and in such scientific language, too), I'll fix it and become the most inner-unbalanced-force-motivated person alive. Super!

...*keeps surfing the internet*...

우리 한식 아침 식사 (Our Korean breakfast)

My family (minus the two kids right under me) sit down for a Memorial Day Korean breakfast!

Becca had a bit of a hard time of it, learning to use chopsticks. Daddy gives her a quick crash course.

Marianne eats some 김치 (kimchi).

Danny pauses his delicious meal to make an adjustment to his chopsticks-holding style.

Even Nathan (the littlest) thought it was tasty, as evidenced by his empty bowl.

This is what was left of an entire jar of 김치 (kimchi), a whole package of 김 (seaweed), and two cans of 참치 (tuna).

My mom and dad went up to Springfield, Illinois for a Mormon History Association convention this last weekend. While they were there, my mom stopped off at the Asian market and picked up some ingredients I need to make Korean food. Half in jest, I asked them last night if they'd like a Korean breakfast...only to be woken up this morning by my two youngest siblings clamoring for me to make them a Korean breakfast. Of course, I'm not sure if they knew that meant eating rice, kimchi, seaweed, and tuna for breakfast...but I've got to give them credit, they ate it well and pretty cheerfully. David didn't like it much (I think mostly because he can't use chopsticks and was too embarrassed to give it a proper go), and my mom wasn't a very big fan, but the little kids, and Daddy especially, really liked it. They ended up eating a whole jar (a small one, but still) of kimchi and an entire package of seaweed! They did much better than I did the first time I had the same meal, that's for sure. I guess it's a good thing my mom bought a whole gallon of kimchi -- it looks like we're going to need it!

I think I've refined wasting time into an art

Today was one of those days spent embraced in the warm, inviting arms of the green chair in the corner of my living room. In practical terms that means I did one of three things: sleep, play on my computer, or read. Today it was mostly the second of the three -- I spent a while trying to find Korean pop music, and then another while trying to get it onto my blog. (Do me a favor, I pray thee: hit the play button and take a listen. C'mon, 들어보세요! You don't have to understand to love it.)

I wish I had something profound or even interesting to write tonight. I had a good idea for a post this evening as I was driving my sister to a choir practice for the middle school's eighth grade graduation, but it got lost in the chaos of bedtime and I haven't been able to recreate the atmosphere well enough to reclaim it. So I suppose it will just have to wait for another day. Maybe tomorrow my creative juices will be flowing more freely.

I've been rolling an idea for a creative project around in my head for the past couple of weeks. Lately, everywhere I go, it's like I see pictures jumping out of the everyday scenes through which I'm making my way. Walking to the library, driving to Wal*Mart, playing with my little brother in the park...the weather has been cooperating very nicely, as well, turning the fields into a vibrant, verdant green that is so picturesque. With all that popping into my head at random intervals, the idea of undertaking a photo journal or a kind of photo documentary of my small town has suggested itself to me. So maybe you'll see some of that here in the future.

101+1 Things About Me You Probably Didn't Know

101. I really do believe in true love, and that there's someone special out there. Somewhere.

100. I always wanted an older brother, despite the fact that if I really had one, I would probably resent him. I like being the boss.

99. I think it's really dumb when the guy always drives. I LOVE driving, and when I get married, I will do the driving.

98. If I could chose one talent, I would want to be able to draw/paint/take really great photographs. I've often felt the urge to try to draw the things around me...only to fail miserably and be heartbroken about it.

97. Remote controls are mine. No questions asked.

96. I don't like waking up on the hour. I always set my alarm for a few minutes before or after the hour. (Usually after because I want every possible minute of sleep I can squeeze out of my night.)

95. The smell of bookstores is pretty much the sweetest smell in the world to me.

94. Similarly, I think libraries are sexy. Seriously. There's something so...compelling about those rows and rows of books.

93. I love the feeling of rinsing off lathered bodywash when you shower.

92. I don't like doing things at which I cannot immediately excel. As you can imagine, this keeps me from doing a lot of things.

91. When I was about 11 or 12, I was upset about the color of my eyes. I wanted to have ice-blue eyes like Luke Skywalker was described as having in the novelization of Star Wars.

90. Now, I love the color of my eyes. They're very unique, and people comment on them all the time.

89. I prefer action movies with a romantic story thread to romantic comedies.

88. I love the color green, but only the darker shades. Not that I hate the others, but they're not as striking to me.

87. After serving a mission and having a companion with me 24/7, I don't like sleeping in a room alone by myself.

86. I absolutely adore Korean television dramas.

85. I have a secret desire to be a quiet, composed, reserved person -- but I'll never be like that. I'm too opinionated.

84. Even though I make a lot of noise about not letting guys doing things for me, I really love being taken care of.

83. I think that the greatest demonstrations of affection and love are expressed in the smallest of gestures. A man that noticed I was unhappy and wrote me a note to cheer me up on any old day would impress me much more than a man that gave me a whole diamond necklace on Valentine's Day.

82. I've always been a little jealous of my little sister for being so naturally outgoing and social and self-confident.

81. I don't like wearing socks.

80. When I have kids, I really hope that I have two boys and two girls.

79. Since I was in about fifth grade, I've been thinking about what I'd name my kids.

78. I'm a sucker for a good love story.

77. Tuesday is my favorite day of the week.

76. I decided to play the trumpet in band because I'd wanted to play it since I saw the middle school band director do a demonstration for us when I was in fifth grade, not because the guy I had a crush on at the time played the trumpet.

75. Nobody believes me.

74. I want to spend my wedding night in my own house, in my own bed, and go on my honeymoon the following day.

73. I think mountains are more romantic than beaches.

72. My life's dream is to own a library like the one from Beauty and the Beast.

71. I secretly hate the women who decorate their houses all girly and kitschy. What self-respecting man would want to live there? Why would those women put their own wants above the comfort of their husbands?

70. I mock girls that take an hour to get ready in the morning, but I wish I had the patience to put myself together that carefully.

69. I immediately lose all respect for people who swear, smoke, or make fun of their spouses or children.

68. I think the most attractive trait in a man is an ability to play well with kids.

67. Also very high up there on the attractive trait scale is a man who does something with his hands. Whether it be creating pottery, music, art, or even fixing things, I don't care; as long as he has skilled hands.

66. I wish I could go on an adventure-journey like the one in The Lord of the Rings.

65. I'm really, sincerely sad that there are no such things as elves, wizards, magic, the Force, etc.

64. I'm not ashamed of being sincerely sad about that.

63. I love stories, in any form: written, spoken, pictorial, cinematic, I love them all.

62. Sometimes, I read books or watch movies to get away from having to deal with the fact that reality doesn't work itself out neatly at the end like a book or movie.

61. Ever since I was little, I have always wanted to be so famous for doing something so amazing that everyone would know my name. Now that I'm older, this desire has cooled a little, and I don't really want to be that famous (there would be a lot of inconveniences, after all)...but still, I can't shake the last wisps of that desire that cling to my dreams.

60. I'm really annoyed at all the ridiculous advances in technology. Why does your phone have to surf the Internet? People survived -- and flourished! -- for thousands of years without even electricity.

59. I have a very obsessive personality, and it runs in cycles. For instance, for a couple of weeks I will be completely obsessed with watching a certain movie, listening to a certain song, reading a certain book, etc; but then I will move on to another thing and be obsessed with that for a while, only to eventually work my way back around to the first thing.

58. I love sunsets more than sunrises.

57. I don't like the Impressionists.

56. My mom told me once that the mark of a good parent is children that turn out better than themselves. For a long time, I resented that -- I didn't want anyone to be better than me, not even my kids.

55. I don't know that I'm totally free of that attitude yet, but at least I understand rationally why it's wrong.

54. Maybe I have issues with being competitive.

53. I'm not motivated unless it's by sheer panic, i.e. my paper is due tomorrow and I haven't even started it yet.

52. I'm prejudiced against stupid people.

51. I don't think that being really, really ripped is attractive. I prefer a more leanly muscled physique.

50. I want to live in another country for at least two years of my adult life.

49. I enjoy the feeling of typing on a keyboard.

48. I'm a very sense-of-touch-oriented (read: tactile) person. Whether it be people, things, whatever, I like to touch what I'm interested in. This can cause problems at museums.

47. I really, really love being hugged from behind.

46. However, despite the fact that I love hugs and I am a very tactile person, I only like people entering my personal space (a very large and non-porous bubble) on my terms. There's nothing I loathe more than random people I don't really care that much about trying to hug me.

45. Ok, maybe there is, but that is definitely very, very high on the list.

44. I'm rather cutting and sarcastic to those that I love the most. Unfortunately, I'm also rather cutting and sarcastic to those I love the least, so I can see how this could cause problems.

43. I wish that I had the patience to put more time and interest into my appearance. I would really like to be truly beautiful. Movingly so.

42. I don't do well in large groups of people, especially in places such as dances where it's usually dark and very loud. It gives me something approaching a panic attack combined with claustrophobia.

41. If I had a band, I would call the first album Cacophony.

40. I've always wanted to write a story with the enduring quality of The Lord of the Rings, The Chronicles of Narnia, or L. M. Montgomery's Anne books. I don't think I would want the cult-like following of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight books (really, I'd like to write something a little more substantial and worthwhile than that), but I would like people to enjoy and be moved by my books the same way I was by the works of Tolkien, Lewis, and Montgomery.

39. I'm always surprised when people actually like me and want to spend time with me. I never see myself as a person that would inspire others to feel that way.

38. I don't like doing things because somebody told me to do it. Even if I was planning on doing it before I was told, oftentimes I won't do it, just out of spite.

37. When I was little, I hated my name because people always spelled it wrong. Nothing has changed -- people still continue to spell it wrong -- but one day I realized that "AnnMarie" is much more romantic than, oh, "Katie" or "Jill" and much better suited for whispered sweet nothings than "Brittany" or "Clementine," and I began to rather like it.

36. However, my name is AnnMarie -- not Ann, Annie, Marie, Maria, or anything else you can derive from it. Also, "Marie" is NOT my middle name, it is part of my first name. And there is NO SPACE between "Ann" and "Marie." Even though my passport says there is.

35. Given all that, I still adore pet names and secretly hope that my husband will coin one for me. Maybe this stems from the fact that I have never heard my dad call my mom by her name, only by terms of endearment.

34. I hate flower scents. (Unless they're actual, natural flowers. So I guess I should say, I hate artificial flower scents.)

33. Even though I almost never wear my hair down, I will never cut it short. Having long hair makes me feel feminine.

32. I intensely dislike painting my fingernails.

31. I've always wanted to be rescued from some sort of dangerous (but survivable) situation by a handsome man, preferably one that I really liked.

30. I like shocking people with my taste in music.

29. I wish my legs were longer. I don't like being shorter than my sister.

28. I love cranberry juice.

27. I love music. I love creating it, especially. When I'm playing or singing, I feel a joy of creation, a connection with the infinite and divine, that is unlike anything else I've ever experienced.

26. I like the number 26 because it's the double of 13, which is my lucky number.

25. I hope that I'm never rich. I don't think I would do well at handling that trial.

24. I wouldn't say that I am beautiful, per se, but I think I have nice eyes and good cheekbones.

23. The color yellow drives me crazy, unless it's a very light, pastel hue.

22. I live in flip flops from March to November.

21. Cheddar cheese and Starburst jelly beans are my not-so-secret food passions.

20. I don't like chocolate. But I do like boys.

19. I want to live in Montana when I grow up.

18. I have always loved historical fiction and things like fencing, archery, and riding (none of which I do well, or at all, really) and when I was little, I often wondered why God hadn't sent me to earth in the Middle Ages so I could do all those things. That is, I wondered that until the day that I realized they didn't have flush toilets back then.

17. Despite their being totally chauvinistic and anti-feminist, I love Disney movies. Beauty and the Beast is my favorite.

16. I went to my first symphony when I was five. My dad had tickets to the Utah Symphony and had originally planned to take my mom, but for some reason she couldn't go, so he took me instead. I whistled along with the orchestra until my dad finally found out that that sound was coming from me, and told me that this was these people's jobs, and I needed to respect them by not whistling.

15. I'm a Daddy's girl, all the way. I look like his side of the family, and I'm just like him in personality.

14. I would much rather be cold than hot. You can always put on more clothes, but there's only so many you can take off.

13. Thirteen is a lucky number. It really is; I was born on the 13th.

12. Looking back, my first kiss was actually pretty boring. There wasn't much to recommend it.

11. I've always wanted to rock climb, but I've never gotten the chance. UPDATE: I did it, and it was awesome!

10. I love, love, love getting letters. Especially hand-written ones.

9. I don't like clothes or shoes shopping unless I'm in the mood, but there's something about house shopping that I can never get enough of. I can look at towels and picture frames and furniture for hours. I can't wait until I get my own house and can decorate it.

8. There will be at least one crimson room in my house. I think they're so elegant and sophisticated when done correctly.

7. I've always wondered what wine tastes like.

6. I often wonder if my kids are up there watching me and wincing.

5. When I was younger, I wanted to get married at 21. Looking back, I'm very glad I didn't.

4. I am a huge, huge fan of Keira Knightley, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen, and Viggo Mortensen.

3. I read Pride and Prejudice at least once a year. Now I have it in Korean.

2. I really, really dislike football. In fact, I don't know if I could marry someone who really liked it.

1. I can tell when brownies, cookies, and other baked goods are done by the way they smell.

And for your +1...

I love counterpoint and Renaissance church music.

The view from here is quite nice

Hello.

How are you today?

Nathan is sitting on the couch, kicking his feet in his mismatched shoes (one is a blue Croc, the other a black Spiderman Croc) and begging to be allowed to go across the street and play with a little neighbor girl. Nevermind that she's in school; "She's not in school. I'm not in school," he's insisting. Ah, to be four!

It's a cold morning, not even sixty degrees outside, though the sun is shining. My feet are cold. The tips and nails of my toes are blue-purple because I'm not wearing socks. I don't really care much for socks; I've always preferred to go barefoot. I like my feet to be unfettered.