AnnMarie...

...now has a bona fide brother-in-law.

*ponders this*

Weird.

I love September!

Besides being my birthday month (only 1.5 weeks left!), September, along with October, are the most beautiful months of the year. Summer is definitely not my favorite season, and while winter and spring have their own charms, I shall forever be an autumn girl. And it almost seems that the weather itself is celebrating the advent this most lovely of seasons -- for the last few days it's been pleasantly cool, with a playful breeze keeping the beaming sun from being too hot. Pretty soon the leaves will start to change colors, and it will begin to get cool and then even cold and we'll all be snuggled up in our jackets and sweaters and get to drink hot chocolate.

Oh, I love fall. :)

thanks to this website for the photograph

Welcome Back, AnnMarie!

Today is my first Saturday as a college student in over two years. I can hardly believe it! I'm so excited to be back. I'm even almost excited to be swamped with homework this weekend, too. (Almost.) It is weird not being in class with the people I know, though. In that way, it's kind of like being a freshman all over again, but it's nice that I get to see my friends at all. My friends who went on missions from the Naval Academy came back to most of the people they knew being gone altogether. So I'll count my blessings and be glad that I get to see so many of my friends again.

Move-in was Tuesday. Boy! It took me five trips to get everything from the apartment I was staying in to my new dorm room, and I had to haul everything up two flights of very steep stairs to boot. Thankfully, on the fourth trip (that was my very heavy suitcases) a girl sitting on a bench at the top of the hill saw me and came running down the walk to ask if she could help me. She then proceeded to haul my suitcase all the up the hill, to my dorm, and then to my actual room -- and she did it in two-inch heels. I was very impressed, and very thankful, too. Her name was Lydia, and she's a sophomore, so maybe I'll see her again. In any case, I hope something very nice happens to her this week.

a blurry shot of my dorm room

Our first class of the year is always seminar, our history/philosophy/literature class. This year, being a sophomore, I started with Genesis 1-11. It was an interesting class discussion; we spent most of the time hung up on what it means to be naked, and why Adam and Eve would eat the forbidden fruit and then hide themselves because they were naked. We didn't even get to talk about Noah and the flood at all, or even the Tower of Babel. The whole time, I was so grateful for the light of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, and for the fact that I didn't have to worry about not having the answers to these questions. Because of restored truth, I don't have to worry about the seeming contradictions in the creation stories of Genesis 1 and Genesis 2. I don't have to worry that (supposedly) God seems to be different in those chapters, or wonder why the snake was even talking to Eve in the first place. I know what it means that Adam and Eve were created in the image and likeness of God. I know that the Fall wasn't an accident, but a necessary piece of a larger plan, created so that we can return to our Heavenly Father and become like Him, and live with our families forever (see this website for a more complete explanation). And I'm grateful for my experience as a missionary, because it gave me the patience and the perspective I needed to make it through that discussion without becoming discouraged or getting angry. Ah, the Lord really does know what He's about, and He prepares us for the trials we will face in our lives.

Next time: Why Greek and I don't get along so well after two intervening years studying Korean.

Little Things That Make Me Happy

My freshman year at St. John's, I decided to make a list of 101 "simple things" that make me happy. It was a great experience, and rereading it makes me smile and lifts my hearts every time. I thought today that I'd make a short list of the simple, post-mission things that make me happy.

sunsets

small children playing

cranberry juice

hugs

"How thankful I am, how thankful we all must be, for the women in our lives."

-- President Gordon B. Hinckley

This article is a sobering look at the challenges facing women and girls today, especially in developing countries. I hope that you will take the time to read it; I think it will change how you think of the challenges in your own life. Find the article here at the New York Times. When you've had a chance to read it, I would love to hear your thoughts.

Meanwhile, here's a little something to whet your curiosity. 

"Traditionally, the status of women was seen as a “soft” issue — worthy but marginal. We initially reflected that view ourselves in our work as journalists. We preferred to focus instead on the “serious” international issues, like trade disputes or arms proliferation. Our awakening came in China.

"After we married in 1988, we moved to Beijing to be correspondents for The New York Times. Seven months later we found ourselves standing on the edge of Tiananmen Square watching troops fire their automatic weapons at prodemocracy protesters. The massacre claimed between 400 and 800 lives and transfixed the world; wrenching images of the killings appeared constantly on the front page and on television screens.

"Yet the following year we came across an obscure but meticulous demographic study that outlined a human rights violation that had claimed tens of thousands more lives. This study found that 39,000 baby girls died annually in China because parents didn’t give them the same medical care and attention that boys received — and that was just in the first year of life. A result is that as many infant girls died unnecessarily every week in China as protesters died at Tiananmen Square. Those Chinese girls never received a column inch of news coverage, and we began to wonder if our journalistic priorities were skewed.

"A similar pattern emerged in other countries. In India, a “bride burning” takes place approximately once every two hours, to punish a woman for an inadequate dowry or to eliminate her so a man can remarry — but these rarely constitute news. When a prominent dissident was arrested in China, we would write a front-page article; when 100,000 girls were kidnapped and trafficked into brothels, we didn’t even consider it news." 

-- Kristoff and WuDunn in Half the Sky

read the whole article

Knowing things like this happen in the world only makes me more grateful for the light of the restored Gospel -- and with it, the knowledge that the Lord knows and loves each and every one of His daughters just as much as He loves His sons. Truly, in the eyes of God, there is no inequality between the genders; that rests in the eyes of humanity alone.

Want some further reading on the subject? See what a prophet of God has said about the women in our lives, and what the Lord has told His children about the family.

A Week Out

A week ago today I left home for the third time in three years. I must say, I was much more excited about it when I left three years ago than I was this time around. But when I got here this last Sunday evening after visiting with my aunt for the weekend, I was happy to be "home".

Truly, I've greatly missed Annapolis and all her charms. I'd forgotten how different the East Coast is from the South. The pace is different. The people are different. Part of that is because I live in a huge tourist attraction; and especially this time of year, there are tourists crawling all around downtown Annapolis. (Thankfully most of them avoid SJC -- I guess we're not as "cool" as the Naval Academy. Or at least we're not as impressive to look at, lacking the sharp, tailored uniforms of the midshipmen.) Of course, some of that can be accounted for in the disparate sizes of Annapolis and Martin -- Annapolis is more than five times the size of Martin -- but some of it definitely is an intangible air that comes with being more than 300 years old and surrounded by the Chesapeake. And of course, there's the veneer and subtle arrogance of wealth here that is noticeably lacking in a small town.

Last night I had an hour-and-a-half-long discussion with my roommate that would have sent most people screaming from the room after only fifteen minutes, assuming they could have made heads or tails of what we were talking about. Ah, Johnnies! What a breed apart you are -- not because you're necessarily any better, but because you're so deliciously different from the rest of the world. Where else could you debate Kant's principle of non-contradiction at eleven-thirty at night? Where else would someone under the age of forty even know what that was? Where else would you find 18- and 20-year-olds more likely to be discussing the philosophies of long-dead Greeks than the latest Hollywood gossip? Where else would you find students willing to go to class at eight pm, and voluntarily go to a lecture on Friday night? There's not much of the practical and concrete at SJC, but that's one of the reasons I love it. There's a dark side to it, too, but for today I'm content to just enjoy the bright side.

(And thank you to this website for the pictures of the Naval Academy (top) and St. John's (bottom, it's the dorm where I used to live.))

New Beginnings and Lots of Painful Goodbyes

You'd think, after going to seven different schools in thirteen years, going off to college not only once but twice, and serving a mission in a country halfway around the world, I'd be good at packing everything up and heading out into the unknown.

You'd think that, but what d'ya know, it's still as hard this time as it was the first time.

I think it gets harder as I get older because when I pack up and head out into the unknown, I don't have my family right there with me. I miss seeing my little brother go off to kindergarten, I miss my sister's second-grade projects, I miss even getting to spend the last few weeks with my sister before she gets married. As much as I know it's right and good for me to have my own experiences, it's hard to leave my family. I've always been a homebody, and I probably always will be. It's a similar dilemma to the one I wrote about last time -- I want to travel 'round the world having adventures and learning new things...and yet, I really just want to stay home and watch my siblings grow up.

Being grown up is not as much fun as people make it out to be.

Soybeans and Adventure

While sweeping the floor this afternoon, I was pondering on a great many things. It's interesting how you can have entire dialogues and arguments in your head -- examining the pros and cons of certain actions, reflecting on a certain philosophical idea -- in a much more elegant, more succinct way, and at a much more rapid pace than you can when you actually try to articulate it, in either spoken words or written on the page (or blog). That fact opens up an interesting discussion about whether language is really necessary for thought, or for the communication of ideas...but that topic is for another time.

As I said, as I was sweeping the kitchen floor this afternoon, I was reflecting on how much I've enjoyed being home. Since coming home from Korea, with its bustling citylife and millions of people, I've come to deeply appreciate the quiet of the small-town life here in Martin. The things I used to scoff at -- the acres of soybean fields inside the city limits, cows grazing in a roadside pasture next to the main street, the small, old-fashioned downtown --I now find soothing and even compelling. What can be more beautiful than the verdant velvet carpet of soybeans against the darker green backdrop of the trees, spread out under the brilliant blue summer sky dotted with towering clouds? More than ever before, I am content with being at home with my family, surrounded by not much of anything and not doing much.

And yet, another part of me misses all the hustle and bustle and excitement of the city. Part of me loves action movies and adventure stories and explosions, and longs to explore an as-yet undiscovered strange new land. What is it about myself that has such diametrically opposed desires? Are all of us made up of these "opposing forces", in a manner of speaking? Because it's not just in this matter that I find myself at odds with myself. Is all humankind striving between two or more forces that pull in opposite directions?

What great weather we've had lately

Mom and I finally figured out my financial aid situation, and frankly, it's not all that hot. Mom submitted all the paperwork that was required before I even came home, but it wasn't until about five months later -- in the middle of June -- that they calculated my award and sent it to me. I'm not sure why that is, but sadly, even though tuition and housing costs have risen and our family has more kids in college now (three! plus my dad's doing his doctorate), they gave me less aid than my original award my freshman year. That leaves me with about a $6000 gap between my aid and my expenses, and I have to find it before August. I might end up just having to take out a personal loan and start working two jobs to cover everything. If you could spare a couple of seconds to send up some prayers on my behalf, I would greatly appreciate it. 

This week marks the fifth week of work, with two more left in the summer program (it ends the last Friday in July). School doesn't start at SJC until the end of August, so I'm seriously thinking about going out to Annapolis a couple of weeks early, crashing on someone's couch, and spending that time hunting for a job -- or two. Mom and I haven't talked about it yet, really. For sure, though, I won't have a job here after the 24th. I can't believe how fast June went, and now July is speeding along, too! Speaking of July, this last weekend was the Fourth of July. As much as I love Korea and want to go back, it sure was nice to celebrate the Fourth in the good ol' US of A. :D Our family, at the invitation of (and with the generous support of) a couple in our ward, spent a wonderful three-day vacation at Reelfoot Lake, about 45 minutes from home. They went last year, too, but as I was in Korea, I didn't get to go. We went on a three-hour pontoon boat tour of the lake and got to see lots of herons, egrets, some turtles and ducks and even a copperhead! Some of the braver among us (not me, in other words) had froglegs for breakfast one morning. Surprisingly, they're really huge! I thought they'd be little and spindly, but these frogs much be the size of small chickens -- either that, or they did a lot of leg presses prior to being cut off and fried. We went swimming in the lake, went fishing, and watched part of a History Channel documentary on the Revolutionary War, and Friday night we had an awesome time shooting off lots and lots of fireworks. Growing up in Utah, you associate fireworks that explode in the sky with stadiums and big crowds, and only get to shoot the ground-bound ones off with your family or neighborhood. But when you live in a state that is 3/4 water, they let you shoot off all kinds of fireworks! And of course, I got completely devoured by mosquitos despite liberally applied amounts of bug repellant. (I think at last count I was over 30.) Thankfully, I've avoided sunburn for the last couple weeks, so at least I didn't have to suffer that.

Last night we had the missionaries and my boss over for dinner. It was a really great time. I'd been warning Mr. Robert about the craziness of dinner at our house...only to bring him home to perfectly behaved children. I swear, it's a first for our entire existence, and I know they did it out of spite. My mom made a great meal, and the elders shared a message that really seemed to touch Mr. Robert. He even chimed in after Elder Teuscher (that's too-shur) had finished presenting his message about serving Christ as we serve others (Mosiah 2:17) with a great insight of his own, and we had a lovely discussion about changing our attitudes towards the efforts we make for other people. My dad even sang part of "A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief" a cappella. I'm grateful for the member missionary opportunities this job has given me. My testimony of the importance of member missionary work is growing every day -- and now that the mission president has whitewashed the ward next to us and put in sisters, maybe I'll even get to go on exchanges with them! It's only an hour drive, after all. :)

That's about all there is of interest, really. Rick came home at the last transfer, so we FINALLY, after almost two years, get to talk on the phone to each other without obtaining permission from President. It's been fun to hear the latest news from the mission and hear about his experiences with some of the people I got to serve with as well. Interestingly enough, I'm having just as hard a time transitioning back into calling him "Rick" again as I did trying to remember to call him "Elder Murphy" when we first went to the MTC. I am sad to admit, though, that he knows more Korean vocab than I do -- probably due to four transfers with a native companion instead of my one and only. I spell better, though, so it's not a complete loss. :)

Of Bug Bites and Boys

It's been a little bit of time since I updated, so I thought I'd take a second to do that tonight. These last few weeks at work have been hectic -- hectic the way only 40-odd kids can be. I love my job, but there's no denying that it takes a lot of patience and engery. Good mom training.

In the last two weeks, I've been sunburned three times, twice pretty badly; gone swimming three times (which is three times more than I have in the last two years); broken a pair of sunglasses without touching them or otherwise coming into contact with them in any way (still trying to figure that one out); been so sore that I couldn't get up off the floor; gone two days and 100 miles without showering and air conditioning; and received 30+ mosquito bites. Those last two were accomplished this last weekend, when my sister and I went on a little camping trip with some of the LDS singles in our region.

We left for Land Between the Lakes Friday after work, having thrown together an overnight back at the last minute and slinging a tent and some sleeping bags into the back of our (air conditioning-less) car. We drove up there, windows down, feet on the dash (mine, not Heidi's, since she was driving) and arms hanging out the windows, belting out the songs on the radio. It was a lot of fun, and after stopping for directions only once and consulting the map while sitting in the middle of the road only twice, managed to arrive and set up camp. Unfortunately for us, as we later figured out, we selected a less-than-stellarly-brilliant camping spot. One, it was right in the middle of a high-traffic area; two, it was right under a street light (no idea why that was there); three, not only was the light emitting light and thereby making it light, it was attracting lots of noisy, annoying bugs; four, there was no breeze whatsoever. I slept horribly, when I slept at all.

The next morning, we didn't get to sleep in and were awoken by the sounds of breakfast being made (I forgot to mention, we also cleverly placed ourselves near the main campfire and the center of all-hours socialization), gave it up as a bad job, and just got up. We ate, changed into our swimsuits, broke camp, and headed down to the lake.

...To be continued later, I just found out that my sister got locked in a bathroom at work for five hours...

You know...

Life is a highly complicated thing.

It's a good thing we don't have to go through it alone, and nor are we left to make our way without guidance.

Three Days Out

*AnnMarie collapses onto the floor in a heap* Today was my third day at my new job, and let me tell you, it's wearing me out! You'd think that with all of us helping out it wouldn't be that bad, but despite having six 20-somethings on staff, as well as three older adults, those forty kids run us ragged every day. We only have them for four hours (10:30 to 2:30)...but they are four very long hours indeed.

Despite being exhausted, I do love my job. They're really great kids who have less-than-ideal situations, and despite a certain amount of attitude and lip, they're very loving and eager to do well for us. We spend our days doing various planned activities, like martial arts with a local instructor, visits to the library, and swimming at the pool. We play outside on the playground, eat lunch, and play board games and color. Today, we had a visit from a dentist, and tomorrow the First Baptist Church will take some of our kids fishing. It's a great job, and I'm really lucky to have it. I very much dislike working at jobs where I don't feel I'm making a difference, and working with these kids I can feel that I am. Plus, I love working with the other staff members, especially Mr. Robert. He's the director of the program, and in actuality, he could be doing five hundred other, more "profitable" things as a career. But he loves these kids so much, and it shines through everything he does, and it's reflected in every child's eyes. The kids can't get enough of Mr. Robert; they always want to be around him, and they're constantly hugging him and tugging on his hands. It's the most adorable sight. :)

This experience is helping me in ways I'm beginning to see even now. Despite my (quite vast) experience with kids (for my age, at least), I've never interacted with kids quite like these. A lot of these kids have authority problems, along with all the other problems you'd expect kids growing up in the projects to have. As a result, we spend a lot of time calling kids out for their attitudes and reactions toward our authority. You'd expect that, but I was surprised and mildly upset by how severe and angry our reactions to their reactions were. I'm not saying I'm perfect by any measure, but unless I was very upset and at the end of my chain, I wouldn't react that way to a similar outburst by one of my siblings or a child I babysat. As I thought about that in the shower this morning, I decided that I wasn't going to let myself be molded to the situation; rather, I would try to mold the situation to be more Christlike. I don't want you to think that the other staff members are being unusually mean or rough, but I didn't think that Christ would necessarily approach the situation in that manner. So I gave it a try today. I failed quite a lot, but I do think I succeeded as well. As I keep working at it, I hope it will help me practice patience when my temper is short, as well as helping me to work on my communication skills and other skills that will be of value when I ultimately become a mother to my own children. All in all, I'm very grateful to my Heavenly Father for giving me this opportunity to both help these great kids and learn about myself.

It Makes a Pretty Picture

I just thought I'd let you know that I really love looking at the picture that's the header for my blog. Specifically, it's a picture of the Han River in Seoul, Korea, taken through a slightly dirty subway car window as the train raced over one of the many bridges spanning the river. This is a perfect example of the "take a thousand pictures and maybe one of them will turn out to be worth looking at" theory of photography; I usually take very unremarkable pictures, but for some reason, this one turned out very well. I don't really know what it is about it -- the lighting, the composition, the subject -- that so fascinates me, but I just love looking at it, and I get more proud of it every time I do.

I'm sure you all wanted to know that, and I can tell you that that feeling you're feeling right now? It's a feeling of inner peace that only comes when a hole in your innermost soul is filled -- a hole that you didn't even know was there. Enjoy your feelings of fulfillment. ;)

First Day on the Job

I wish I had a picture I could post along with this entry, but alas, there is none. I shall have to try to paint you a picture in words instead, and hope that suffices.

Today was my first day of work at the summer youth program the housing authority does for the kids who live in the projects. I wasn't sure what to expect, since we're actually hired through a government grant and not through the housing authority and they didn't really know any details, but I showed up at their main office this morning bright and early at eight a.m. like I was told. It turns out that the programs doesn't even begin until ten-thirty, so we sat around for awhile waiting for all of the staff to get there, then filled out paperwork for a bit, and then finally headed over to the building that houses the program.

The director of the program (and all youth activities) is a Mr. Robert Nunley, a dignified older black gentleman who nonetheless still wears khaki shorts and tennis shoes and acts as the umpire for the kids' baseball games. As I said, he is older, but hasn't any hint of the middle-age spread that seems to accompany advancing years. The liberal patches of white in his close-cropped beard give away his age, however; it doesn't tarnish his image one bit, though. Rather, it enhances it. He has a no-nonsense attitude that goes along with is appearance, but there's a hint of a sparkle in his eyes that denote a well-developed sense of humor and fun. The latter is completely necessary when working successfully with children.

The kids themselves come in all kinds of shapes and sizes: big and round, little and thin, thin and tall; little and round, white, black, Hispanic. Some have accents so thick it's hard to understand them. Some have cornrows, and some little girls have braids that stick out all over their heads, with groups of beads swinging at the ends. Some don't have any hair at all. All are anxious to show you their drawing or the trick they can do on the trapeze bars, and will tug on your clothes or hands or whatever else is convenient to them until they have your attention and can display said drawing or amazing feat.

The morning was spent out on the playground playing on the jungle gym or at four square (a very popular, and from the comments, very controversial sport with the kids) until the rain drove us inside to do introductions and an impromptu spelling bee. (The last little kid -- a tiny, adorable little black boy with a high, piping voice and the cutest little face ever -- got out with the word "water;" pretty good, considering he's just finished kindergarten.) After lunch (spaghetti, cheese toast, corn, and a lettuce salad), we played on the playground some more until it was time to load up in the vans and head downtown for some martial arts. That was most entertaining to watch...until we got conscripted to be the punching bags for the kids to practice their jabs, crosses, left hooks, and uppercuts. Even that was alright until we had to stand in front of all the kids and do it with them; keep in mind, none of the three of us have ever done anything of that sort before. But we survived, and it was fun. I just need to make a note to myself not to wear jeans again on Mondays. Mondays are martial arts day.

An Obsession for Everyone

WHAT:꽃보다 남자

WHERE: 

http://www.viki.com/channels/50-boys-over-flowers

WHY: Because it’s the coolest show that’s no longer on TV. In Korean. 

(with English subtitles, though)

You won't regret watching it.

Trust me.