How Newton's First Law of Motion Relates to Life: A Highly Scientific Discussion of Why I Am Lazy

INERTIA

Yep, that's it, our handy-dandy "An object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force." Learned it in sixth grade science, from Mr. Passey (probably the greatest middle school science teacher ever).

Now, I would say that Newton's law rules most people's lives, in more than just the physical sense. Of course we all have to deal with the physics of being vaulted over the handlebars of our bikes when the front wheel hits a rock and suddenly jerks to a stop; and I'm sure we're all very aware of the unfortunate fact of life that everyone hates getting up in the morning. "An object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion" and all that.

Fortunately for us, life is full of unbalanced forces that keep us from just sleeping all the time. Congress, the police, alarm clocks -- or biological clocks, for that matter -- mothers, the IRS, stop signs, the list is infinite. Most people also provide their own, internal "unbalanced force" by the simple application of will power, desire, ambition, revenge-seeking, etc., etc., ad infinitum.

I, on the other hand (and this is where the "highly scientific" bit comes in), am lacking a crucial connecting mechanism somewhere between my internal "unbalanced force" and the part of my brain that causes me to actually do something about it. For example, imagine I have this burning desire: "I would really like to wear a size 2." What would happen in the brain of someone whose converter-thingy was working right would be the following: "I will get up at 6 am and go to the gym every day to work out for two hours," followed by the actual execution of said resolution. Apparently, my problem in life is a snafu somewhere between the conception of the action that carries out the initial unbalanced force and the actual action itself.

Well. Now that I've found that out, I feel much better! Now that I know what the problem is (and in such scientific language, too), I'll fix it and become the most inner-unbalanced-force-motivated person alive. Super!

...*keeps surfing the internet*...