Sunday, March 27, 2011

사랑은 비를 타고 (Love Rides the Rain) - CN Blue

I'm really enjoying CN Blue's first album. They've already released two mini-albums, of which I really like Bluetory. This album isn't really a big change in their sound, but since they composed and wrote almost all of the songs on the album, I'd say it's a pretty decent effort. Here's one of my favorite songs, which features 종현 (Jong-hyun) on lead vocals instead of 용화 (Yong-hwa) as usual. As much as I do like Yong-hwa...I'm really in love with Jong-hyun's voice. It fits the tone of this sad rock ballad perfectly.

Here are the first two verses and the chorus. The whole thing is really poetic and beautiful in Korean, but my translations leave something to be desired. Song lyrics are actually not as easy to translate as you would think. (The last two lines have stumped me, so I will consult someone more knowledgeable than me and fix it later.)

창가에 흐르는 빗물에
In a song, in the falling rain
숨겨놓은 그댈 떠올리고
The hidden memories of you come to my mind
가슴에 흐르는 눈물로
And through the tears spilling from my heart
그대를 지워보곤 하죠
I'm trying to forget you.
이 소리를 듣고 있죠
You're listening to this, right?
비를 좋아하던 그대도
You, who loved the rain, 
나를 기억하나요
Do you remember me, too?
비가오면 나는 그댈 그려요
When it rains, I miss you.

사랑은 비를 타고 내려
Loves rides the rain and falls,
추억은 비를 타고 흘러
Memories ride the rain and flow,
내리는 빗소리에 또 그댈 떠올려요
In the sound of the falling rain, you come to my mind.
눈물은 비를 타고 내려
Tears ride the rain and fall,
기억은 비를 타고 흘러
Memories ride the rain and flow,
굳은 가슴 적셔 놓고
Soaking my hardened heart,
떠나가네요 비를 타고
And you're leaving, riding the rain.

그댄 비를 보면 비를 닮아
You said that when you watch the rain
슬퍼진다고 말했죠
Like the rain, you become sad.
우리의 사랑도 이젠
Now, our love too
비를 닮아 버린 얘기이죠
Has become a story like the rain.
그댄 떠나갔어도 나를 기억해줘요
Even though you left, please remember me.
(나를 기억해줘요)
(Please remember me.)
그리움이 많아서

차오를 때 비가 부를 테니까

(Chorus)

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Books I Love

To me, the most interesting stories are the ones that are character-driven. I'm willing to forgive an author a lot of stupid plot twist if her characters are fleshed out and relatable, if they draw me in and make me sympathize with them.

L. M. Montgomery is one of those authors that can write a book where really nothing much happens but make it compelling because of her characters. Her Anne books, the Emily books, and The Blue Castle have been some of my favorite books for well over a decade now. At the center of each of them is a heroine who is neither perfect nor perfectly beautiful, who is more flawed than not -- someone who is, in short, rather like you and me. 

In an age where most books for young adults seem to all be set in dystopian worlds and offer prime examples to how not to be in a relationship (overprotective sparkly stalking vampires, anyone?), L. M. Montgomery explores the beauty of everyday life and relationships. After following Anne from the time she came to Avonlea as a skinny, red-haired, unloved orphan through schooling, friends, college, a few heart-aches and embarrassments, through college and first love, discovering true love and true heart-break in short order, into motherhood and the quite contentment of watching her children grow up, she feels just like a friend. The only friend that's been with me through everything since I was a child.

And The Blue Castle is the kind of story that proves that you can have a captivating love story that doesn't have to include either crazy hijinks or buckets of tears. Though fairly short, I guarantee you'll fall in love with Valancy and her journey from the mousy, insignificant girl she is at the beginning to the confident, loved-and-loving woman she is at the end. Here's an excerpt for you (you can find the source here):


“We’ll just sit here,” said Barney, “and if we think of anything worth saying we’ll say it. Otherwise, not. Don’t imagine you’re bound to talk to me.”
“John Foster says,” quoted Valance, ” ‘If you can sit in silence with a person for half an hour and yet be entirely comfortable, you and that person can be friends. If you cannot, friends you’ll never be and you need not waste time in trying.”
“Evidently John Foster says a sensible thing once in a while,” conceded Barney.
They sat in silence for a long while. Little rabbits hopped across the road. once or twice an owl laughed out delightfully. The road beyond them was fringed with the woven shadow lace of trees. Away off to the southwest the sky was full of silvery little cirrus clouds above the spot where Barney’s island must be.
Valancy was perfectly happy. Some things dawn on you slowly. Some things come by lightning flashes. Valancy had had a lightning flash.
She knew quite well now that she loved Barney. Yesterday she had been all her own. Now she was this man’s. Yet he had done nothing – said nothing. He had not even looked at her as a woman. But that didn’t matter. Nor did it matter what he was or what he had done. She loved him without any reservations. Everything in her went out wholly to him. She had no wish to stifle or disown her love. She seemed to be his so absolutely that thought apart from him – thought in which he did not predominate – was an impossibility.
She had realised, quite simply and fully, that she loved him, in the moment when he was leaning on the car door, explaining that Lady Jane had no gas. She had looked deep into his eyes in the moonlight and had known. In just that infinitesimal space of time everything was changed. Old things passed away and all things became new.
She was no longer unimportant, little old maid Valancy Stirling. She was a woman, full of love and therefore rich and significant – justified to herself. Life was no longer empty and futile, and death could cheat her of nothing. Love had cast out her last fear.
Love! What a searing, torturing, intolerably sweet thing it was – this possession of body, soul and mind! With something at its core as fine and remote and purely spiritual as the tiny blue spark in the heart of the unbreakable diamond. No dream had ever been like this. She was no longer solitary. She was one of a vast sisterhood – all the women who had ever loved in the world.
Barney need never know it – though she would not in the least have minded his knowing. But she knew it and it made a tremendous difference to her. Just to love! She did not ask to be loved. It was rapture enough just to sit there beside him in silence, alone in the summer night in the white splendour of moonshine, with the wind blowing down on them out of the pine woods. She had always envied the wind. So free. Blowing where it listed. Through the hills. Over the lakes. What a tang, what a zip it had! What a magic of adventure! Valancy felt as if she had exchanged her shop-worn soul for a fresh one, fire-new from the workshop of the gods. As far back as she could look, life had been dull – colourless – savourless. Now she had come to a little patch of violets, purple and fragrant – hers for the plucking. No matter who or what had been in Barney’s past – no matter who or what might be in his future – no one else could ever have this perfect hour. She surrendered herself utterly to the charm of the moment.
“Ever dream of ballooning?” said Barney suddenly.
“No,” said Valancy.
“I do – often. Dream of sailing through the clouds – seeing the glories of sunset – spending hours in the midst of a terrific storm with lightning playing above and below you – skimming above a silver cloud floor under a full moon – wonderful!”
“It does sound so,” said Valancy. “I’ve stayed on earth in my dreams.”
She told him about her Blue Castle. It was so easy to tell Barney things. One felt he understood everything – even the things you didn’t tell him. And then she told him a little of her existence before she came to Roaring Abel’s. She wanted him to see why she had gone to the dance “up back”.
“You see – I’ve never had any real life,” she said. “I’ve just – breathed. Every door has always been shut to me.”
“But you’re still young,” said Barney.
“Oh, I know. Yes, I’m ‘still young’ – but that’s so different from young,” said Valancy bitterly. For a moment she was tempted to tell Barney why her years had nothing to do with her future; but she did not. She was not going to think of death tonight.
“Though I never was really young,” she went on – “until tonight,” she added in her heart. “I never had a life like other girls. You couldn’t understand. Why” — she had a desperate desire that Barney should know the worst about her — “I didn’t even love my mother. Isn’t it awful that I don’t love my mother?”
“Rather awful — for her,” said Barney drily.
“Oh, she didn’t know it. She took my love for granted. And I wasn’t any use or comfort to her or anybody. I was just a — a — vegetable. And I got tired of it. That’s why I came to keep house for Mr. Gay and look after Cissy.”
“And I suppose your people thought you’d gone mad.”
“They did — and do — literally,” said Valancy. “But it’s a comfort to them. They’d rather believe me mad than bad. There’s no other alternative. But I’ve been living since I came to Mr. Gay’s. It’s been a delightful experience. I suppose I’ll pay for it when I have to go back — but I’ll have had it.”
“That’s true,” said Barney. “If you buy your experience it’s your own. So it’s no matter how much you pay for it. Somebody else’s experience can never be yours. Well, it’s a funny old world.”
“Do you think it really is old?” asked Valancy dreamily. “I never believe that in June. It seems so young tonight – somehow. In that quivering moonlight – like a young, white girl – waiting.”
“Moonlight here on the verge of up back is different from moonlight anywhere else,” agreed Barney. “It always makes me feel so clean, somehow – body and soul. And of course the age of gold always comes back in spring.”
It was ten o’clock now. A dragon of black cloud ate up the moon. The spring air grew chill — Valancy shivered. Barney reached back into the innards of Lady Jane and clawed up an old, tobacco-scented overcoat.
“Put that on,” he ordered.
“Don’t you want it yourself?” protested Valancy.
“No. I’m not going to have you catching cold on my hands.”
“Oh, I won’t catch cold. I haven’t had a cold since I came to Mr. Gay’s – though I’ve done the foolishest things. It’s funny, too – I used to have them all the time. I feel so selfish taking your coat.”
“You’ve sneezed three times. No use winding up your ‘experience’ up back with grippe or pneumonia.”
He pulled it up tight about her throat and buttoned it on her. Valancy submitted with secret delight. How nice it was to have some one look after you so! She snuggled down into the tobaccoey folds and wished the night could last forever.

Friday, March 25, 2011

The Minor Third

Photo here

I've always been fascinated by the fact that one, small half strep down for the third takes the entire chord from major to minor. The interesting thing is that nothing really changes in the chord -- it's still made up of a fifth composed of a major third and a minor third. Only the arrangement of those smaller chords changes.

I'm not exactly sure what that says about music, or about life, or about attitude. It's just so interesting to me that one small little shift in the makeup of something can change its entire tone and our perception of it. It's even more fascinating to me that we understand many of the 'hows' of music, the "rules" that we've learned through thousands of years of experimentation, and yet we're not any closer to the 'whys' of music. Nobody really knows why music works the way it does. Nobody knows why it has the effect on the human brain and body that it does. And yet...it does have a profound effect on us. Music moves us in ways that nothing else can. And so much of that is the tiny little difference of a half-step in the middle of a fifth.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Things I Want to Learn How to Do

skateboard
speak Chinese
play the guitar
rock climb
take pictures
cook Korean food
sing
dance
horseback ride
do things without procrastinating them first
sketch
write poetry





Wednesday, March 16, 2011

"But behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy"*

MY heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains
My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk,
Or emptied some dull opiate to the drains
One minute past, and Lethe-wards had sunk:
'Tis not through envy of thy happy lot,
But being too happy in thine happiness,
that thou, light-winged Dryad of the trees,
In some melodious plot
Of beechen green, and shadows numberless,
Singest of summer in full-throated ease.
                                                   - John Keats, from Ode to a Nightingale



Keats' Ode to a Nightingale was the last poem we read in my language class my sophomore year at SJC. After we'd talked about the other stanzas for a while, my tutor drew our attention back to the first one, the one quoted above, and asked us to explain the lines "'Tis not through envy of thy happy lot, / But being too happy in thine happiness". There was silence for a few moments as no one felt brave enough to venture an answer. As the silence stretched to the point where it was starting to become awkward, someone finally said something, and a brief discussion ensued. But none of my classmates seemed to be hitting on the feeling that those lines inspired in me, and most admitted they had no idea what he was talking about.

I don't know whether the feeling Keats describes is a function of experience, or of passion, or maybe some combination of both. At the time, it seemed to me that at some point everyone experiences that feeling -- a feeling so overwhelming, so all-encompassing, that it tips from pleasure into something that is almost pain. But when I attempted to express that to my classmates, all I got in return were uncomprehending expressions. Only my tutor was nodding in understanding and agreement.

Class ended soon after, and all sixteen of us shoved our chairs back from the scarred wooden table with loud scrapes, spilling into the spring sunshine in laughing knots of two or three. But the memory of that class, and of that question, has stayed with me, and every once in a while comes up the surface of my mind to be reexamined and mused over. Why is it that none of my classmates knew the sensation Keats was trying to describe? Were they just too young? Most were barely twenty, if that. Had they just not had the opportunity yet? Again, their relative youth might explain that, and time might fix it. Or was it a matter of passion? Had lives of comfort and little challenge, of immediate gratification and too much time in front of the TV robbed them of sensation Keats was trying to communicate?

I don't really know the answer to my question. I have an idea that the real answer lies in some combination of all of those things; but I think that passion is the key. Passion is what elevates moments of mediocrity to sublimeness, what makes ordinary things extraordinary and regular people more than just the sum of their parts. But along with the highs come the lows, and I think most people are too afraid of the inevitable tumble from the heights of joy into the depths of sorrow to ever attempt the climb. They stay safely in the middle, hugging the average, never feeling too much pain, but never knowing much of joy, either. It is a tragic choice, I think, one that robs the world of much that it could be. Of course, unrestrained passion is more hurtful than it is of any benefit; but that is not what I am talking about. I'm talking about the courage to pay the price, to be willing to experience great sorrow to experience those moments of transcendent joy that teeter on the edge of pain, those moments when your heart is so full that it feels like it might burst, and you feel like shouting and singing and telling the whole world at the top of your lungs that everything is beautiful and wonderful. It is worth it for those moments, I think. It is worth it for those moments of perfect sadness, even, for those moments when your heart is breaking but at the same time so full of a lesson you never could have learned otherwise that you wouldn't have avoided the sorrow if you'd had the chance.

*Alma 26:11

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Somebody to Love

"Somebody to Love" by Big Bang off their latest album, Tonight



With the choreography (practice)

Monday, March 14, 2011

Cognitive Reality

A Rorschach inkblot

"Every phone a human utters is necessarily different from every other phone in some way, although the difference may be minute. So, if any phones sound the same to you, it is never because they sound the same in real terms. It is only because your brain tells you they are the same. Likewise, if two phones sound differently to you, it’s only because your brain tells you they sound differently. As you learn a language, your brain optimizes your perception of sound to tell you which phones are different and which phones are the same in your language (see (N. C. Ellis & Larsen-Freeman, 2006)). It does this on the basis of the distinctions you must attend to if you are to distinguish the sounds of morphemes in your language. If you don’t need to perceive a difference between phones, your brain tells you they are the same. If your brain tells you phones are the same when they are really very different, you have practically no way of knowing what is true unless you fight back against the workings of your brain. It may be telling you that phones sound alike when they sound drastically different to people of another language, and the phones that your brain tells you sound obviously different may sound absolutely identical to other people. This will be contrary to your experience and you will doubt and reject the idea, but the idea will be true and you will be wrong. It is your experience filtered through your brain’s processing that is not concretely real. Of course, what your brain tells you is cognitively real for you, but you need to understand that people of other languages have different cognitive realities that make them think differently than you do, and their phonetic realities are not your phonetic realities" (emphasis added).

The above is an exert from my Study of Language class handbook, written by my teacher. It illustrates through the metaphor of language a very absolute truth - that some things are relative to your experience of them. I do not subscribe to the philosophy that all things are relative; for one thing, that statement is an immediate logical contradiction, and for another, it is blatantly not true. However, many things in life are subject to our experience of them, just like how we perceive someone speaking the word "sink" and the word "think". To English speakers those words are clearly different, laughably so. But if you speak German, the distinction is not so concrete, and indeed, some might not even be able to tell the difference at all.

The world would be a much better place, on a personal, national, and worldwide level, if we would all just invest the time to uncover our own "cognitive realities" and stop reacting instinctively to others'. So much of the conflict in history, between people and nations, stems from misunderstanding. And misunderstanding results when we process other people's actions through our own cognitive reality when in fact they are acting informed by their own, separate cognitive reality. We throw around words like "normal" and "reality" and expect them to be absolute and everyone to know what we mean when we say them, but in fact those words are some of the most subjective and relative words in any language. What someone means by them varies, not just in different cultures, but within them as well.

Who you think you are and how you react to the world is very much (at least partly) a function of what experiences you've had as you've lived your life. Your family, your culture, your circumstances growing up, the people you've interacted with in any way, your beliefs, how much sleep you got last night - all of them contribute to how you view the world at any one moment. Which is why that ten people might have eight or nine, if not ten, different reactions to the same thing. The hard thing for us as humans to accept is that just because someone's reaction is different from our own, it does not immediately follow that it is wrong. Someone's logic for reacting the way they did might not be immediately apparent to us, but it is usually the case that when you put a little time into attempting to understand that reaction, some kind of logic will emerge. When that happens, you still may not agree with that logic, but at least you can attempt to persuade the other person now that you understand them.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Random Part III

I feel like I should be saying something. I'm not sure about what, though, is the problem. A lot of things are swirling around in my head right now: the earthquake and tsunami in Japan, all the previous earthquakes and tsunamis in recent years in Haiti and Chile and Indonesia and New Zealand, the situation in Libya and the rest of the Middle East, gratitude for all the blessings I'm currently enjoying, the role of music and arts in cultures in the midst of upheavals, communication, White Day, my possible future choices...my head feels like an overloaded particle accelerator.

Friday, March 11, 2011

More About Music and a Little Miscellaneous, Too

I don't know why, but music seems to be a common topic on my blog lately. Maybe because my life has an almost constant soundtrack. I was talking to my brother in the car the other day, driving down to Salt Lake for my cousin's wedding, and I asked him if he listens to music a lot. Almost never, he replied. How is that even possible? One day I accidentally forgot to switch my iPod from my purse to my coat pocket and went to school without it. I almost went crazy. I felt like I was missing a hand or something. It's worse than being without my phone, even.


Contrary to popular belief, I do listen to American music. Not much popular stuff these days, though. I'm really not into the "bump-and-grind-baby-let's-get-it-on vulgarity contest" that seems to be popular music these days. Nor am I into teeny boppers a la Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, or Selena Gomez (to name my eight-year-old cousin's favorite "artists"). I do like a lot of the alternative/alternative rock bands. Mutemath and Coldplay (yes, I know Coldplay is very popular, but they're not "popular") are probably my favorite, but I also really like Keane, The Afters, Jimmy Eat World, and most of what Pandora throws at me on my Mutemath channel. It's funny. I adore kpop even though most of it is autotuned out of existence and obviously electronic, but I prefer my American music to be instrumental. Hmmm. Maybe cute boys > autotune...? But anyway.

My brother and I had a good chat on the way down to the wedding. In the course of our conversation about how women and men communicate differently, he asked something that got me thinking. An age old question, really: How do you (a boy, that is) know when a girl is going to be receptive to maybe taking the relationship in a little more intimate direction? (I'm talking about hand-holding and hugging here; after all, this is my brother we're talking about.) Now, currently in one of my classes we've been discussing the different communication styles of the genders. Girls communicate a lot through body language and subtle hints and cues. Boys tend to be a little more direct, and so mostly seem to miss those subtleties; hence the question from my poor, beleaguered little brother.

Picture here
What I came up with in 20 minutes of discussion seems to boil down to two main points: 1) proximity, and 2) eye contact. That is, 1) when a girl willingly places herself fairly consistently within easy arm's reach, and maybe casually touches the boy's arm or shoulder during conversation; and 2) when a girl maintains pretty consistent eye contact (not staring; that's just creepy). I suppose I can't really speak for the entirety of my gender, but those two points are very true of myself. My bubble of personal space is quite large when I don't feel comfortable with someone, and I will very rarely make eye contact with someone that I don't feel at ease around. This involves a lot of edging away when the aforesaid uncomfortable person moves closer and/or staring off into the space over their left shoulder while making conversation if placed in a position opposite said person, or just never turning my head to speak to them if I am (fortunately) next to them. But I'm curious to see how well my hypothesis stands up to your reality. I'm not biased, I welcome male input as well as the female variety.

Monday, March 7, 2011

News Bites

The irony of it snowing on the first day of spring break is not lost on me.

Really, I have nothing much to do for spring break. Lots of homework and papers I could do, and I do have tentative plans that include catching up on a lot of reading, but nothing really relaxing or fun. Well, sleeping in in the morning and not having to wake up to an alarm every morning. And my cousin's wedding is Wednesday, which should be a good time to get to see members of the extended family I haven't seen yet, including my other cousin's husband. And my other cousin's wife and daughter. And then on Saturday there's another family get together, this time for a younger cousin's baptism. She came over with her family last night and she adores me. I'm now her new favorite person, except she thinks I'm lame for not having Justin Bieber or Selena Gomez or Miley Cyrus on my iPod. She's eight, by the way.

There's really not much to say about life right now. Other than I just ordered a straightening iron for my hair (a good one). I figured it's time to grow up and learn how to do something with my hair, as much as I don't like the thought of that. But now that I have bangs, it's pretty frustrating not to have one, since they always curl up and out in the most annoying an unflattering fashion.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

More New Music Experiences

IU's latest mini-album cover
Recently, thanks to Dream High (which recently ended ~sob~), an artist named IU has come to my attention. Honestly, I have to admit that I don't follow solo females very closely, since I don't really swing that way, but IU definitely stands out because she's actually quite different from the "norm" of Korean pop music. First off, she is a solo act; second, she has amazing vocals; third, she's awesome live. For the drama, she recorded all of her performances live. Here's one of them, one of my very favorites. (The boy at the beginning is Wooyoung of 2pm, who played the other half of their cute couple. (Seriously, they are too adorable for words.))



 Here's the version of her latest music video that features her singing her new single, 나만 몰랐던 이야기 (The Story Only I Didn't Know), with decent English subtitles. Trust me. Not only is the song haunting and beautiful, but it showcases her gorgeous voice perfectly.


And the story version, which features Park Bo-young of Speedy Scandal fame.